Hayjax is in Nottingham

This is what happens when you drop a Canadian into the East Midlands.

Hayjax went to Italy

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I went to Italy and permanently skewed my blood sugar by eating two plates of pasta every day.  The white kind, because Italian people don’t believe in the mealy brown fibre-rich stuff we health-conscious North Americans bravely pretend is an acceptable substitute for the real thing.

Before I got to the part of the trip where I did a number on my metabolism, I spent an hour hanging around Heathrow airport, where I fell in love with a chocolate Mr. Potatohead Easter Egg from the Harrods kiosk:

This was a very important part of the trip for me.  I loved that thing.

We went to Milan first, where the people all look like Karl Lagerfeld. Enormous sunglasses, haughty miens, perma-tans, sleek designer clothes and tiny dogs tucked under their arms wearing equally sleek designer clothes and haughty miens.  Being a philistine, I was only mildly impressed by the Duomo, which was very… pointy.  I was much more captivated by the barmy English translations in the shopping guidebook in our hotel room, and spent many an evening reading and rereading sentences such as this: “The fleeting length of the different styles and ideas and the hard efforts to be successful are some clear aspects that are indissolubly connected with fashion, art and creativeness, this is the origin of the difficulty to be successful and to remain in the crest of a wave.”  This guidebook also advertised live theatre events, including a play about Shakespeare that promised to explore “an obscure part of Shakespeare’s personal ambition, longing for power, murder and rigging,” and Hello Kitty, the musical:

I will forever regret not taking the time to see an Italian musical about a Japanese cat with no mouth.

Other interesting cultural artifacts include a shop window full of crazy-eyed lamb cakes:

That is the birthday cake Hannibal Lecter would send Clarisse.  And then there was this store display, which pretty much sums up Italian culture:

Flagrant sexuality, the pope and the cult of the Virgin Mary all hanging out together doing their thing.  That, plus crazy-eyed lamb cakes is pretty much my nutshell version of Italy.


Written by Hayden

March 24, 2010 at 10:46 pm

Posted in All posts

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